i seem to get worse at dealing with people the more meds i take. my anxiety is gone, but maybe a little anxiety is a good thing. i've been cutting down on the benzos, and i have more expression in my face and eyes now - people were looking at me like i was a psycho - my face just felt completely dead. and as far as relationships go, i don't seem to feel anything, which isn't good. i see my psychiatrist in a week or so, so i'll see what he says.
in any case, i'm sorry i've been such a bad friend, if my readers are still there. i understand if you just can't deal with me anymore - i would have given up on myself a long time ago. please go on with your lives, i wish you well.
Hi I'm still here! If that helps....I mean if that's a good thing, lol.
ReplyDeleteDo you play pool? I used to a long time ago and this month we went to a pool hall. I haven't been able to do that in a long time because of that damn self-consciousness. Anyway, if you go when it isn't that busy, it's not too bad and sometimes there are people playing alone. I like it. It's cheaper than a movie, but more fun and you can drink (beer anyway). Too bad I don't live near you--we could go together.
The next time you feel like smiling or laugh, you could try letting it linger on your face for a while. I don't know what made me think of that. :) Talk to you soon.
Haha, thanks, I'm glad you're still around. :)
ReplyDeleteWow, that's great that you were able to go out and play pool like that - it sounds fun. And yeah, I would definitely go out with you guys and drink beer. Put songs on the jukebox, play darts. :)
It's interesting you mention that about smiling - I've been trying out different smiles in the mirror and trying to learn them - my normal smile seemed to be more of a grimace. Well, I was kind of depressed. But I'm trying to at least fake it for a while - I have to get along in the world! But I shall try your advice also.
You should post more of your adventures on your blog - or maybe you're posting them to that new site. I need to join it.
ttyl